It is evident the hockey gods currently hate the Toronto Maple Leafs. With yet another crippling defeat under their belt and with Leaf Nations collective psyche on 24 hour suicide watch, something needs to change. They don’t get any bounces or any calls.
What’s the solution? I can trace this spiraling shit storm back to one decision, trying to force the man from Bromma to waive his no trade clause. Since this decision the Leafs have only taken steps backwards on the ice. So again, what’s the solution? First, hire Father Lankester Merrin to perform an exorcism on the organization. I don’t care if we get an actual priest or just bring in Max Von Sydow to reprise his role. Second, get Burke to hop on a faering get his ass over to the land of Ikea plop himself in front of Mats home and stage a hunger strike until he agrees to come back to Toronto. Mats did say he was a leaf forever! LET’S CALL HIM ON THIS! Mats playing at this tender age with Phil The Thrill? C’mon! This seems like a no brainer as his previous best line mate was a past his prime previously defected A-Mo. Third, anytime someone takes a stupid penalty they have to drop and give the fan base 20 pushups on the ice before they can go to the box. Fourth, ice the team that plays the hardest. If it’s the young bucks so be it. The Leafs are not in the business of showcasing RFA’s and UFA’s. If this is the case then the rest of the league is aware we have a bunch of knuckle heads who have no heart, are just cashing a paycheck and underestimate teams that are worse than them. If the movie Major League has taught me anything it’s that you always have a chance. Did Ricky Vaughn, Jake Taylor, Pedro Cerrano or Willie Mays Hays give up when Rachel Phelps tried to gut the team so they could relocate? NO! Lastly, we seem to missing the fire. I would mandate that the team run the montages from Rocky 4 and the end scene from Karate Kid on loop in the dressing, on jump tron, in Maple Leaf Square!
GO FREGGIN LEAFS GO!
What’s the solution? I can trace this spiraling shit storm back to one decision, trying to force the man from Bromma to waive his no trade clause. Since this decision the Leafs have only taken steps backwards on the ice. So again, what’s the solution? First, hire Father Lankester Merrin to perform an exorcism on the organization. I don’t care if we get an actual priest or just bring in Max Von Sydow to reprise his role. Second, get Burke to hop on a faering get his ass over to the land of Ikea plop himself in front of Mats home and stage a hunger strike until he agrees to come back to Toronto. Mats did say he was a leaf forever! LET’S CALL HIM ON THIS! Mats playing at this tender age with Phil The Thrill? C’mon! This seems like a no brainer as his previous best line mate was a past his prime previously defected A-Mo. Third, anytime someone takes a stupid penalty they have to drop and give the fan base 20 pushups on the ice before they can go to the box. Fourth, ice the team that plays the hardest. If it’s the young bucks so be it. The Leafs are not in the business of showcasing RFA’s and UFA’s. If this is the case then the rest of the league is aware we have a bunch of knuckle heads who have no heart, are just cashing a paycheck and underestimate teams that are worse than them. If the movie Major League has taught me anything it’s that you always have a chance. Did Ricky Vaughn, Jake Taylor, Pedro Cerrano or Willie Mays Hays give up when Rachel Phelps tried to gut the team so they could relocate? NO! Lastly, we seem to missing the fire. I would mandate that the team run the montages from Rocky 4 and the end scene from Karate Kid on loop in the dressing, on jump tron, in Maple Leaf Square!
GO FREGGIN LEAFS GO!
